Who do you do life with? I had someone say to me once, at a very pivotal point in my life, that she did life with a small group of friends. For some reason this struck a cord with me but at the time I didn’t know why. All I knew was that I wanted people in my life to ‘do life with’ and I didn’t have that. Which after a few days of thought and some prayers I realized that I did have those people and everyone of them is wonderful. Doing life together especially in times of trial and stress reminds me of Acts 14.
Paul and Barnabas during their first mission trip were met with hardship and difficulty. They were far from their home, friends, comfort of familiarity and they were still full of joy and the Holy Spirit. They were expelled from regions not cities but entire regions, stoned, mocked, not listened to, plotted against to be killed and more. How many times in life do we have hard times and difficulty WITH the support and surrounding love of our friends and family? And then how many times have we turned away from them or complained about their words or argued and turned from God?
In January of 2013 my faith was truly put to the test as much as it had been since I had become a Christian just 3 short years earlier. My husband, Dan, and I learned we were pregnant right before Christmas, it was the best Christmas present ever, well besides Jesus himself being born, but it was pretty amazing. However, in January we had a miscarriage at 9 weeks, I was devastated, but I knew God would get us through. I had such a positive, calm outlook and leaned on God. I thought I could do this with just His help and I didn’t need anyone, just like how I handled all other trials previously in my life and I was convinced of this. It wasn’t more than a month before the reality of what had happened set in. My calm and love for God turned into anger and bitterness and not just toward God but pretty much every pregnant woman in the world including my sister and sister-in-law. Which just breaks my heart to say because they love me and I love them and I was beyond ecstatic about their pregnancies. I went from positive to depressed in a matter of days.
Why did God do this to me? Doesn’t He know how much I love Him? After everything that I have been through in my life why did this happen to me?! Why is He making me go through all of this? Haven’t I gone through enough? And I just kept crying out ‘Why God Why?!’
One major thing that I missed during this time was I had friends, family, my church community, people who still to this day don’t know how much they helped me, come out of the woodwork to stand by my side. I felt alone and wanted to shut everyone out, because I am a woman and I can fix everything myself.
There was this moment after I went on a mission trip titled 4.5, it was four and a half days of being immersed in poverty and homelessness, on a completely separate note it was an amazing life changing experience. During this trip I learned of a wonderful service within Toledo, Ohio where I live. Every Saturday morning organizations gather to assist in providing the homeless and less fortunate food, conversation, clothing and basic medical equipment. It was during this event I had a conversation with a new friend I had just met, Leryc. She told me she has a close group of friends who are just a small group of humans who love each other and just simply do life together and hold each other accountable for their relationships with God and with each other. Then it clicked, the big ah ha moment in a difficult time, we all have it, don’t pretend like you don’t. This is a major thing that I needed to learn through the whole miscarriage grieving process. I needed to learn that doing life with others helps you to be full of joy and the Holy Spirit no matter what happens. I HAD God and I knew He was there for me and loved me but I needed humans, I needed community. Just like Paul and Barnabas.
Those guys even though it was thousands of years ago dealt with hard times too, but they had each other. Paul was stoned and left for dead but he still had joy and the Holy Spirit. I believe that was partly because he had Barnabas. God created us to live in community with each other not isolation. Paul and Barnabas did life together an held each other accountable. While you reading this might not of had a miscarriage or the exact life that I have had, everyone has hard times. Every single person. It is simple if we stand by each other and allow God to work within us and within others we will get through whatever our hard times are full of joy and the Holy Spirit.
Acts 14:22 – strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said.
the truth of my life 